Do you know what makes a small plane the most enjoyable? A wailing baby. It's true. I can't tell you the joy I felt when that tiny human let out a noise I never thought possible by any human. And the joy only grew as it continued its cherubic song for 2 hours. And I have to commend the mother on the genius choice of putting her tray table in the down position so that her precious has a place to bang her set of plastic keys.
Did you know that she was the first person in the history of time to ever have a baby? True story. Can you believe it? A 5 month old baby that weighs as much as a 9 month old. I tell ya, that never happens. Her doctor says so, I heard all about it. The father disappeared but her current boyfriend plans on adopting her once she's old enough. She tried to put her boyfriends name on the birth certificate, but the hospital wouldn't let het for some reason. Well, doesn't that just beat all??!! I bet it has something to do with biological reasons. Whatever.
Oh, well she has a poopy diaper. That may be why she's crying. It would be good for you to change her on this tiny plane where people are trying to read books or sleep. Go ahead, that won't bother anyone. Oh, that wasn;t the reason she was crying? Huh...what do you think I could bo? Well, why don't you just continue to ignore her and keep filling those around you in on how you're bringing your charming daughter across the country to see her Great Great Grandmother. Ahhhh...generations of young single mothers. So refereshing.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
2 comments:
Ha ha ha ha. You know what shuts kids up? Duct tape over their mouths. Or heavy sedatives.
You know what else shuts kids up? Not brining them on airplanes. The kids ears were probably exploding on the inside. Stupid people.
Post a Comment